RCMP CST. RYAN TOBIN JOURNAL ENTRY DAY 7 – 2021-01-22

Today I feel refreshed, full of optimism. Everything feels brighter and crisper.

My general outlook on almost everything has improved. I’m not the negative cynical dick I felt I was when I arrived. More of a positive, try your best, recognize the good, kind of dick.

Sleep was restless and full of nightmares but still feel refreshed.

I forgive Terrance for disappearing during my storytelling last night. Originally I went to a place in my head of “fuck that guy, if he cant be bothered then theres no way I’m giving a testimonial after having experienced negative attention when I’ve been put in the media before for doing something good”.

But  some deep breaths and a few minutes went by. I calmed myself and decided that it was ok. I didn’t do it, it has nothing to do with me and it’s not like I was in a room talking to myself. There were other interested parties. In the end it turns out he was not feeling well and self care is supposed to come first so I completely understand.

I’m so thankful for Camp My Way.

I wouldn’t have been able to come if it wasn’t free. ( insert thanks to our donors ) I had nowhere else to turn and was going directly into the black.

The last week wasn’t long enough. I feel there’s so much to talk about still and practice but I’m excited to return for the next phase.

Today I want to pack up without forgetting anything, except my 16 year old knife I lost while hiking, MOTHERFUCKER!

I plan to get home safe and to try and involve my family with the new tools I’ve learned.

Photos: Jillian A Brown
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