RCMP CST. RYAN TOBIN JOURNAL ENTRY DAY 6 – 2021-01-20

Today I’m forgiving myself. I forgive myself for letting my emotions and injuries impact those around me.

I feel refreshed, grounded and clear in mind. I’m very unsure about the future but I notice a confidence I have about it.

 I feel like the beehive in my head has slowed. I’m not always in a mental state of chaos. I’m comfortable to pause in the moment and I can revisit traumatic events in my thoughts without it overtaking my day. Those things happened, I can’t undo them, I wasn’t responsible and I did the best I could at that time.

 It was a good sleep I think. Nightmares as always but no sweats so I’m very happy about that.

Im very grateful for my family. My smart and beautiful girls. I know they’re going to be trouble but I’m up for the challenge and I have zero reservations about laying down the law for any boys in the future.

 Today I’m forgiving myself. I forgive myself for letting my emotions and injuries impact those around me. For letting my moods and outbursts bring others down. Despite feeling ashamed, I can allow myself to move on from that and do my best to not let it happen any longer.

Today I’m going to have some good simple fun.